Life has dropped to another type of rock bottom now that im idling around everyday. I've never wished this much to have a job or to go back to school. Maybe i should really go look at the newspapers tmr. But i want an office job that pays $10 per hour, has nice comfy seats, able to do online shopping and msn-ing, and also only need to pick up phone calls. ha ha. This is not impossible, because there is really such a job. Its just that im not lucky enough cause they arent hiring people now.
Maybe its true i havent been giving myself a proper rest, mentally. But I havent been thinking alot lately, have resigned to fate on certain matters and trying hard to let myself go from... ... myself. Other things are getting to me, its probably just the excessive free time that i have. It also mostly explains why i've been having really crappy dreams and like 2 in a day, cause i sleep that much. I dont like to dream of ending my own life, it freaks me out so bad. Its as though something bad is calling out.
On top of all these already bad happenings, my nose has bled for 3 days already. Its fucking pissing me off. Life is horrible.
2:40 AM
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